Don't Fall Asleep
by MissCrowley
Summary: "That's a good look for you, Sam." Sam could have sworn he felt hot breath on his ear as Lucifer leaned over beside him, but that was impossible. It was just a hallucination. None of it was real. "You know, on your hands and knees like that." (Warnings for heavy slash).


"_I breathe and I drown in the circle of fire__  
__the glow of the flames__  
__And I embrace the demon-desire__  
__the glow of the flames in my eyes___

_The pleasure and pain... now they are the same__  
__for I have fell from grace__  
__I've been waiting for so long for the feeling this strong__  
__for this bliss of escape___

_I breathe and I drown in this funeral pyre__  
__the glow of the flames__  
__and I embrace the demon-desire__  
__the glow of the flames in my eyes"_

__~Poisonblack (The Glow of the Flames)

It had been a few days now and Sam was beginning to crash. He was only going on about a few hours of sleep over a three day period, and coffee was no longer doing the trick. The double shot espressos he had been consuming only caused him to become a jittery zombie, and every time he viewed himself in the mirror he looked more and more like a mental case. He tried to avoid Dean as much as possible even though his brother knew what was happening. He hated having to look vulnerable in front of Dean because his older brother would always baby him - tell him to get some medication-induced sleep. It was starting to get annoying. Dean's constant nagging was beginning to wear his already sensitive nerves even thinner, so Sam decided it was best to leave the motel that night to get the hell away.

He cracked his neck slowly as he breathed in the cool night air – his breath leaving fog in the dark under the street lamp. His eyelids were heavy with fatigue and his head ached, but he kept walking until he approached an empty alley save for a stray cat that darted away in his presence. Once he passed the entrance he leaned back against a gray brick wall to stare up at the stars. They weren't as nice in the city, but a few of them were still visibly scattered here and there. It was a comforting sight, mainly because of the inner quiet it seemed to bring. The universe out there was completely devoid of all sound, something he wished he could embrace within so he could at least get some inner peace. He had been miserable since the hallucinations had started; Sam almost preferred not having a soul at all because at least then he would have mental silence. Now it was just full of... _him._

"Awww, thinking about me again? How sweet."

Sam closed his eyes, instantly regretting doing so, and slammed the back of his head against the wall. It hurt like hell, but at least it rooted him in reality. When he struggled to open his heavy eyelids once more an angry breath puffed fog into the air. It hadn't worked. His methods to keep himself seated in the here and now, and not in the cage, were failing. _He _was still there wearing a shit-eating grin, hands in his jeans pockets and smug written all over his face.

"Gonna have to try harder than that now, Sammy."

"_Don't_ call me that."

"Oh, my bad. That's Dean's pet name for you, isn't it?"

Sam growled in frustration and darted forward only to fall when his fist glided through the air into nothing. He groaned as his already sore body hit the alley ground on its hands and knees. A small tear was now ripped into the knee of his jeans and his cut throbbed on his injured hand. Lucifer walked up behind him and crossed his arms.

"That's a good look for you, Sam." Sam could have sworn he felt hot breath on his ear as Lucifer leaned over beside him, but that was impossible. It was just a hallucination. None of it was real. "You know, on your hands and knees like that."

"You're fucking sick."

Sam stood and stumbled a bit, catching himself by grabbing the chain link fence that separated the alley from the other side of the street. He was getting dangerously tired having just expended more energy that his body just didn't have.

"You could just sleep, you know. I might let you for a bit."

"Yeah right. Since when have you been prone to random acts of kindness?"

Lucifer shrugged and sat on the ground next to Sam, who had finally given in and sunk down to lean back against the fence. "I have my moments."

Sam sighed as his eyes drifted shut slowly, his mind not caring where he was at the moment. He would only be there a little while anyway. Just long enough for him to regain his bearings to make it back to the motel.

_God it had gotten so hot. Just seconds ago Sam had been cold in the night air, but now the temperature had to have risen at least forty degrees. He opened his eyes to find himself sprawled out along a path of dark, flat stone terrain – lakes of fire scattered across the strange landscape here and there, one very close to him that was causing him to worry about the smell of burning hair. He jumped up and stumbled backwards to escape the flames, his hands darting up into his hair to be sure all was as it should be, and it was. He spun around as he attempted to recognize his surroundings. Nothing was clicking, but he felt as if it should. There was something..._

_He was in Hell._

_Sam swallowed hard and his eyes widened as he looked up into an angry red/orange sky. No. Nononono. There was no way in-, well, that statement would have probably made sense if he weren't actually there. Panic gripped his insides and squeezed his guts until he felt as if he could be sick. His heart rate was pounding at an impossible rate against his t-shirt that was now sticking to his skin with sweat; he was losing it fast and he knew none of this could be real. None of it could be... Wait. What was he doing prior to all of this-_

_Sleeping. He'd fallen asleep._

_This seemed to calm Sam's nerves as his hands dropped to his sides and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. He slid his jacket off to at least relieve himself of the intense heat and tried to gather his thoughts. So he was dreaming, but it was an awfully vivid dream. A lucid dream, maybe. He opened his eyes and walked back over to the fire he had been near before. He felt it hot on his body, his hand jerking back as he felt the burn sting his fingers. He seemed to be in control as far as he could understand._

"_Interesting choice of scenery."_

_Sam turned sharply to face the direction of the voice. Lucifer stood before him as smug as ever in his familiar vessel. A lucid nightmare. Great. This was just great. He had finally managed to get some shut eye and the fucker still had to invade his dreams._

"_You said you were going to let me sleep."_

_Lucifer tilted his head to the side with a look of concern on his face. "Did I? You're asleep now, aren't you?"_

"_I should have known you'd lie."_

"_Lie?" Lucifer approached Sam and set a hand on the taller man's shoulder. "Never lie, Sam. Just... omitted a few things. I still have to have my fun somehow."_

_Sam's laugh was humorless as he shrugged the angel's hand away to gain some distance between them. "Seriously, fuck you."_

"_Oh really? Those are fighting words, Sammy."_

"_Well, since this is my dream, then maybe we should have it out once and for all. If I win you leave me the hell alone" _

"_You have no imagination." Lucifer appeared behind Sam instantly and pushed him forward, sinking down over his back and leaning into him. "Don't you remember all the fun we had together down here?"_

_Sam closed his eyes in disgust and turned his head away. Of course he remembered, but it wasn't exactly something he'd like a repeat of. "I really have no idea what you're talking about."_

"_I think you're lying." Lucifer pressed his hips into Sam's backside and chuckled as Sam's breath hitched in his throat. "Why do you feel the need to lie to me, Sam? I've never lied to you."_

_Sam clenched his jaw tight as he squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to will everything away. He wanted to wake up. He wanted anything but this. The last time this had happened he had been completely humiliated; he'd given in with barely a fight and felt every last bit of his will and masculinity being stripped away beneath the hands of the devil. As long as he had control in this dream, he would fight._

_Sam laughed mockingly at the angel hovering over him, "you know, you're pretty pathetic. If this is all it takes to get you off you're a pretty poor excuse for the ruler of Hell." Lucifer's smile dropped as Sam continued, "I mean come on, I was half expecting you to chain me to rack, torture me, but here you are hoping to get some ass instead. You're fucking weak."_

_Sam grunted as his back hit the ground hard. Lucifer's nails were digging into his arms as a look of dark amusement crept across his face. Sometimes Sam didn't know when to keep his mouth shut, but just like Dean he would often talk himself into an even worse situation. Unfortunately it seemed he had done just that, and what memories he could surface of his time in the cage with Lucifer flooded his mind as he felt hips grind hard against his. He bit his lip to keep from emitting any sound as he watched Lucifer's blue eyes shine in the orange fire; his heart had started pounding again and his hair was now sticking to his forehead from the sweat that had formed there. Lucifer didn't seem to be bothered by the intense heat in the slightest, and then Sam remembered that it was only a dream and the angel above him wasn't real. He was just a hallucination within a dream, and when Sam woke up it would all be over. _

_Now if he could figure out how to wake up._

_A groan slipped past his lips as Lucifer bent down and bit into his neck. There wasn't much he could do besides will himself to be awake, which wasn't working at all right now. He had been so sleep deprived because of this asshole – hadn't slept because Lucifer seemed to have so much fucking fun singing loudly just as Sam would doze off. Because of that Sam was now in his current situation, which wasn't looking any better as time went on- Oh. Wait, that was nice. What was- Jesus. Sam arched his back as he felt teeth grazing his side beneath his ribcage and dared to look down. Oh god, he hadn't wanted to see that. Lucifer was moving back up his body with his shirt in his teeth – hips once again thrusting down with slow, long movements against Sam's half-hard erection. Why he was even getting hard over this he didn't know, but his body obviously wasn't opposed to what was going on. This wasn't completely lost on Lucifer of course._

"_You used to love this, Sam. Just you and me." Lucifer sat up and looked down at Sam as he continued moving his hips. "You begged for it, the only thing that made you feel alive."_

_Sam opened his mouth to respond with something defiant, but only succeeded in releasing a breathy moan as his hips jerked up in response to his arousal. It was true, he had craved it back then. At first it was nothing but complete misery among the flames. He felt tortured inside his mind and soul, and nothing could bring him peace. It had been insanely hot, and the screams of everyone he had ever let die echoed in his head until he had nearly driven himself mad. It wasn't until after Lucifer had offered to take his pain that he found a release from it all, if only for the short time they spent together. He had hated every second, but he knew it was the only thing that felt good; it was the only thing that made his mind go completely blank and caused the screaming to stop._

_Sam's body was responding eagerly now as he became lost in his memories. He was reaching up to grab Lucifer's hair, pulling him down into a hard kiss that was full of nothing but hatred and need. He had no idea when it had escalated into pure lust, but he was craving it once more. He needed some kind of release to escape from the agonizing ache he was once again feeling. He didn't know exactly how long his eyes had been closed, or how long he had been digging his fingers into Lucifer's hair as he let out the sluttiest moan he could manage. The angel released himself from Sam's grip with a lecherous laugh._

"_That's my Sammy. Dancing with the devil." _

_Lucifer brought a hand between them to unbutton Sam's jeans and slide the zipper down. The angel slid a teasing hand between fabric and skin, his fingers brushing against the wetness that was leaking from Sam's cock._

"_And you were so opposed to this in the beginning. Who's the liar now?"_

_Sam tensed as he lifted his hips to slid his pants down and grabbed the back of Lucifer's neck, pulling him down for another forceful kiss as the angel worked his hand along Sam's cock. It had felt like ages since someone had touched Sam in this way. He knew it was dangerous to allow himself to fall completely into it, to allow himself to be consumed by the fire that was raging inside of him at that moment, but he was already gone past the point of no return. The pleasure was building deep in his stomach as adrenaline rushed through his system - his heavy breathing and embarrassingly dirty moans echoing in his head. It was a welcome sound over the screaming of his painful memories._

"_Oh god, oh god." His hands flew up to Lucifer's arms, digging his fingers into the angel's skin as the hand around his cock moved faster. "Oh god, don't stop."_

_Lucifer leaned down and bit his ear, whispering, "God? I don't mind the sound of that."_

_Sam cursed loudly as he lifted his hips, his orgasm sending sparks behind his eyes. He rocked his hips along with the powerful sensations that made his legs grow numb, and he heard himself repeating Lucifer's name over and over again in a hurried whisper as the angel carried him through his last pulses of euphoria._

_Sam's body fell back onto the hard stone - his eyes growing heavy as he glanced up at Lucifer who was licking the come that had covered his hand. "You- you should... what about-"_

"_Don't worry about me, Sam. This was all for you. Just a reminder of how much you mean to me."_

_The words finally knocked some sense into Sam's buzzing brain and he realized he was still resting his hands on Lucifer's thighs. He hurried to fix his jeans and slid back. What in the actual fuck had he just done. Again, apparently. According to his fuzzy memories and Lucifer's words they had done this more than once before, and Sam had enjoyed it. He had enjoyed it this time too. No, that wasn't right. He wasn't himself. Rational Sam would have never just laid back and... yeah. Allowed himself to get a hand job from the devil._

"_Wake me up. Now." Sam's voice had become hoarse in his dry throat. He needed to get out of this dream before anything else happened._

_Lucifer watched him for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh and standing. "You're so _boring_. Fine." The angel disappeared and Sam had to blink twice just to be sure he was really gone. It was the last thing he was able to manage before he fell back, his eyes closing of their own accord and sleep once again overtook him._

Sam awoke with a start and cringed at the wetness in his jeans. Not only was Lucifer literally giving him Hell in his waking life, he was also giving him nightmarish wet dreams. Go figure. That was about the only thing he hadn't done yet to piss Sam off anyway, and speaking of the devil, Lucifer was once again sitting next to him on the ground under the night sky in the alley. It was freezing now, and Sam realized his coat was hanging half off of his shoulders. He must have attempted to remove it in his sleep. He shrugged it back on and stood up.

"Please just... go away."

Lucifer looked up at him in mock hurt. "Oh come on, Sammy. After all we've been through together you're going to cast me away like that?"

Sam turned and glared down at the angel, pure anger burning in his eyes. "I said _get lost_."

"That. That right there is what I love about you. All of that built up rage just waiting to spill out." Lucifer stood and brushed himself off, and followed closed behind Sam as he started back to the motel.

Sam hoped Dean would be asleep by the time he walked through the door. It would be just a bit awkward to be passing by with a wet spot on his jeans, and just knowing what had happened still fresh in his mind. Not to mention the fact that Lucifer was most likely not going anywhere that night. Now he was more afraid of sleep than ever before; he was definitely not eager to do _that_ again any time soon. He wasn't really as mad as he should have been, but that he figured he would blame on Lucifer too. Everything was the angel's fault. If he had never offered to take Sam's pain Sam wouldn't have acted like the wanton whore that he had earlier. In his dream, rather. A dream – he had to remind himself that it was only a dream. The memories were very real though, and now they were clear as day no thanks to the damn devil in his head chipping away at the rest of the wall. It made him sick to realize that he had done those sorts of things with Lucifer in the pit, that he had actually wanted to do them. He wished he could forget again.

By the time Sam reached the motel it was nearly one in the morning. Dean was thankfully asleep, so Sam opened the door as quietly as possible, flinching as Lucifer walked quickly past him over to Dean's bed and began talking loudly.

"Hey Dean, I bet you can't guess what Sammy was up to while he was gone."

Sam stopped himself short of shouting in protest. Dean couldn't possibly hear Lucifer, but it was sometimes difficult to remember these things. Lucifer was very real to Sam, but to others he just looked like a raging nutcase. He settled with glaring incredulously in Lucifer's direction before dropping onto the edge of his bed to remove his coat and shoes, and then flipped the TV on making sure the volume was down low. He flipped through the channels until he found something interesting on the History Channel, and leaned back on his elbows to watch the show. The short nap he'd had while he was out at least allowed him to stay awake a bit easier now. It was going to be a long night, especially with Lucifer being more obnoxious than usual.

"The History channel? Ugh." Lucifer had appeared sitting beside Sam with his arms crossed, a comical look of complete disgust on his face. Sam couldn't help the snort of laughter that escaped and then grew silent once more.

A good fifteen minutes must have passed before Sam's patience began to grow thin. The angel was clearly bored as he sighed, flopped backwards on the bed, sang to himself, and took to poking Sam in the side of the head.

"Sam, can we do something else? This is awful. Maybe we could have another dream."

"No!"

Sam quickly looked in Dean's direction as his brother shifted in his sleep, and then he remembered. He cringed as he sat up and made his way to the bathroom after digging in his bag for a clean pair of shorts. A shower was definitely in order before anything else. Of course Lucifer was going to follow him into the bathroom.

"Look, can I at least get some privacy in the bathroom?"

The angel leaned against the porcelain sink and crossed his ankles. "Are you really that concerned about privacy after all I've seen?"

Sam's will to fight had been shot by that point. He just decided to ignore Lucifer once more and go about his night. He leaned over to start the stream of warm water in the shower and removed his clothing, quickly stepping behind the shower curtain after catching Lucifer's attempt to grope him with his eyes.

The rest of the night continued on without much change, and when the sun finally rose Sam noticed that Lucifer had gone. He was insanely tired and his eyes were burning, but he knew that if he went to sleep he would either be met with a rude awakening or end up having another one of _those_ dreams. Yeah, fuck that. He would just go about things as usual and hit the coffee stand before Dean woke up. He needed to get his double shot to get a bit of energy so he didn't look completely dead, otherwise Dean would be all over him again, trying to force him to sleep.

If only Dean knew.


End file.
